As I would have found out.

I got to the resort and rented stuff. In the rental line a woman looked at my jeans with a rip in the behind fully exposing my black thermal bike pants.

"That's a little too far, don't you think?"

I looked at her and smiled and looked away. After all, it was eight in the morning, I was awake, was I expected to have a snippy conversation too? After all, I was still sloshed.

Neil looked at her and she walked away. "I thought she was kidding at first, but nope."

I stood up straight in line. If I create too much of a commotion, they won't rent to me. Remember that time in Raleigh? When the Avis guy refused to rent me a car? Don't want to go there again.

Then I asked Neil to watch my board while I bought a hat. You see my head was bare. So I walked into the gift shop and found the cutest girl in the store.

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me. You see, you're the only attractive person working here today and I was wondering if you could help me find the cutest hat."

She wasted no time, "How about this one?"

"Oh yes I gravitated toward that one."

Another employee rounded the corner. "What about Mary?" She asked.

"Oh yes, she is attractive. I just didn't see her. Yes, she is definitely attractive too." Mary blushed.

"Here, try this one." She handed me the hat. "Kinda pill box shaped, like Jackie O."

I became serious and looked her right in the eye. "You know… She's dead now."

I took the hat and tried it on. "Yes, this is good. This will work. Thanks!"

"You're welcome."

I bought the hat. Of course.

Before the first run I had to get coffee. Lucky for me, the coffee bar extended outside. I had a double espresso.

Neil turned to me and said; "We'll get you through this, are you ready?"

Getting on the ski lift with my snowboard was easy. Did I mention I had never ridden a snowboard before? At dinner the night before my friends were aghast that I wasn't going to take a lesson. So I told them not to worry, I grew up on really big hills and I skate boarded all the time, and on top of that I have a lot of grass skiing experience.

Getting off the lift was another matter.

I some how managed to paddle on my but off the lift.

An employee stepped forward.

"Hey, need some tips for getting off the lift?" My pride was gone at this point and I welcomed his advice. Although he had a heavy French accent and I was drunk. As a result, I have no idea what he said.

By the second run, I had learned how to turn left as well as right. Things started to click.

That hardest thing was learning to take a straight path.