I had gotten on a flight in Amsterdam, had three awful vodkas on the flight before landing at Heathrow, London. I said goodbye to my companions as I went through the connecting flights area of the airport. I was on my way to Dublin, I had a boarding pass, and I had about forty-five minutes to get to the gate.

I had my bags re-x-rayed, filled out a customs form and talked to a man about my passport. Luckily, my outbound flight was in the same terminal, if it wasn't I would have had to do a full on O.J. to make it. (The Hertz O.J. not the hurts O.J.)

I arrived at my gate and sat down with my book. An announcement caught my attention. I was just thinking how easy security was and how much money I could have made exporting goods from Amsterdam.

"Mr. Tom, to gate 88 please, paging Mr. Tom to gate 88."

"Mr. Tom?"

"Yes"

"Just a moment please, this gentlemen would like to have a word with you." A man and a woman in full security apparel stepped forward.

"Mr. Tom? Did you transfer from another flight?"

"Yes, I came up from Amsterdam on British Midland."

"Have you gone through any security? Anyone check you out?"

"Uh, no, just the man who uh stamped my passport."

"Well we're here to do that security check. The airline alerted us that you may have bypassed security. We won't do it out here, we don't want to embarrass you, could you please step in here?" A door was opened and they led him inside. "So, do you object to this security check? It was the airline that called this to our attention"

"Uh, no...I don't have a choice do I"

"Well, no, not if you ever want to fly again.. Could you please hand the lady your jacket and bag? She'll start checking them while I check your person...."